Sticks and stones…

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” 

I remember yelling that back at the kids who called me names in elementary school. Jokingly, I said it as an adult. How many times have you heard this phrase or spoke it out?? 

Hundreds? Thousands?? Never??

I have news for you.. 

Words DO hurt you.

Over the years, I have heard this so many times. I chose to disregard it in so many ways. I would tell myself that it wasn’t true or that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, I changed the way I spoke to my children at times. But, I still said enough.. Sticks and stones….

For awhile, I chose to say something negative over and over again towards my children about something they were doing. It doesn’t matter why or the details of what was going on during that time. What matters is that it literally changed a good thing in their lives. They were actually doing a good thing. How I interpreted the behavior and then spoke about it was negative and had the result of driving them away from the good thing. 

Negative talk was still my go to. Way too often. Words will never hurt me, right??

Finally, I am understanding it. Finally..

There is actually science behind it. I have been listening to Dr. Caroline Leaf podcasts more often now for the last month or so. In one of them, she explains what happens when we speak. Words actually come out of our mouths in the form of waves, sound waves. Those sound waves actually turn to particles as they travel into the person receiving the words. Those particles can affect us in so many ways. Positive messages have a positive effect on us. Then of course, negative messages have negative effects. 

I have heard this story quite a few times, but I don’t really know how accurate it is. Its the story you may have heard about the plants. One plant is talked to only in positive messages and the other only in negative messages. The positive messages plant thrives and the negative plants shrivels up.. 

Over the years, I have heard this so many times. I chose to disregard it in so many ways. I would tell myself that it wasn’t true or that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, I changed the way I spoke to my children at times. But, I still said enough.. 

In this article from https://brm.institute/neuroscience-behind-words/ , “Scientific studies actually show that positive and negative words not only affect us on a deep psychological level, but they have a significant impact on the outcome of our lives.”

It goes on to say that negative words release stress and anxiety hormones in test subjects.

“Additionally, a study found increased levels of anxiety in children associated with higher rates of negative self-talk. According to the study’s abstract,

“These results suggest negative self-talk plays a role in the generation or maintenance of anxiety in normal children.”

Ultimately, negative words, whether spoken, heard, or thought, not only cause situational stress, but also contribute to long-term anxiety.”

All of this information and yet…….

I still fell into the trap of continuing to live my life the way I always had. Sure I, like so many people, dealt with negative self-talk. I stopped saying some things so that should be enough, right?? 

Nope. Turns out, what we say does indeed have power. 

All of this to say… think about how you are speaking. 

Build up rather than tear down. 

Encourage rather than discourage. 

If you are not happy, as I was for a long time, find ways to get some healing and help. 

Speak life. 

Find people who will encourage you and build you up. 

Surround yourself with good people. 

Think about how you are speaking to yourself. 

Change your perspective. 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WORDS WILL BREAK MY SPIRIT.” 

I can do it, so I know you can too. Message me today if you need some help in that area. 

Blessings.