Exposing Shame: You are Enough!

Yes. Lets talk about shame. Why? Because we NEED to. We need to allow for the conversation to happen in order for some healing to happen and, yes, some healing needs to happen. Knowing WHO we are changes things. Look, we are living in shame all the time. We hear the lies all the time: you aren’t good enough in appearance, in dress, in your home, in your parenting, in your work life. Who do you think you are? We then get our identity from shame, then shame tells who we think we are and we are not enough. Our world confirms it.

Guess what? 

Those are all lies. 

Yes. We all hear them, we all see the signs all around us reminding us that we are not enough. Its everywhere. They are there to reinforce the idea that we aren’t enough so we need to do, buy, be something else entirely. 

Shame tells us “You ARE bad”.  Guilt says, “You DID something bad.” There is a clear difference. We can be guilty of something, but shame, the shame that we did something bad and that makes us a bad person, keeps us from facing truth. When we are filled with shame, we cannot be vulnerable and face the truth. We are too busy trying to hide the shame that plagues us.

Vulnerability

And yet…. according to a Ted Talk I listened to by Brene’ Brown, vulnerability is viewed as courage. Brene’ Brown is a researcher that has spent the last 12 years studying shame.  (You can find that Ted Talk here.)

When someone is vulnerable and talks about something that has caused them shame, they are viewed as courageous!!  Let me point out, that in the video I watched, she shared that a year ago, when she talked about vulnerability, she ended up with a “vulnerability hangover”! (Her words.) She was devastated for a time because what she shared hit so many people and resonated. At the time, she wanted to “stay under the radar, stay small.” Yet, the truth of what she spoke is so needed that it exploded! She said there were 4 million views!

I love this quote from her Ted Talk: “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”

Shame keeps us from being truly courageous. 

Truth

Have you watched a Kristina Kuzmic video?? Or read her book?? That woman hits all those areas that cause us to live in shame!!  She talks about things all of us struggle with. She tells the truth about parenting and life. It’s something the world continually tells us: you are not enough. Personally, my favorite video of hers will always be the one where she is laying on her bed eating a pan of brownies with a spatula talking about those hard days of parenting when nothing goes right.

I don’t know about you, but when I watch her videos, all I can think about is how courageous she is to share that! 

Brene’ and Kristina are both doing the best they can to expose our countries fascination with covering people in shame! What is with that??!!  Because they want to sell their product and sex sells and so does shame. 

Commercials tell us we aren’t enough so we need to have this product or that product. 

Magazines tell us we aren’t beautiful enough until we look like this person or that person. 

Facebook shows us that everyone else is perfect and does everything perfect and your life sucks. 

Even food is marketed to show us we aren’t enough and we are failing. Diet plans make us believe that how we look isn’t good enough. 

Facts- who you are

Here are the facts: these are all lies. All of them. Let me speak truth to you and hopefully unload some burdens.

Your life is YOURS and you get to choose how you live it. You get to choose what works for you. If you have a family, you get to choose how to raise your kids. You get to choose what your relationship with your spouse looks like. 

You are beautiful the way God created you. 

You are doing the very best you can with what you have. 

You are the best person for the job in this time of your life. 

You are more than enough. 

You are a success in whatever you do. You may have had a failure in your life- at least one. But that is NOT who you are!  

Have some empathy for yourself and the people around you. Give yourself the antidote to shame. A good strong dose of Empathy. I can help you deal with the shame in your life. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you!! Send me a message here

Love you! 

Have a GREAT DAY!!!